Eward, Alistair and William
 

This is an oil on canvas painting 67 cm x 78.5 cm, for a commission. The client liked the photos we did when a fog was just lifting. I actually put a photo together in Photoshop as no one picture had the right look on all the children at once and the client liked the result so gave me the go ahead even though I thought these photos would be a test run as I wanted to take the photos late in the afternoon but she really liked what I got. She was also happy with the progress last time she saw it with the baby's eyes turned toward the viewer as she requested and his brighter shirt. Now I'm interested in your comments before she sees it again.
I've attached the photo, the painting and a close up.
Pamela

Hi Pamela,
I personally find this image very heartwarming, and you must have enjoyed working on it. The poses and colors were well captured, without stifling the child's natural energy in your paintings.

What i thought would heighten this innocent energy would be to lighten / lessen the facial tones for the boy in red, and the toddler. I'm especially referring to the red cheeks on both kids, which seems to be making them look older right now.

Another thing we can do is to tone down on the toddler's eyes which seem to be having the whites of the eyes outstanding right now. In my experience, a toddler around this age would have very little eye whites.
So i hope with my two cent's worth, it'll be helpful to making it a remarkable painting.

Previous photos too saturated
 

Dear Marcus,
I've changed the photos. These are nearer to the actual painting than the others were. They had too much red in and I hadn't realized. Thanks for bringing it to my attention. Do you think they still have too much red in their cheeks now? I also put in the original photo off my computer. I thought I had lost it so I had scanned in the print out which came out a different colour. Also the one year old does have whites showing in his eyes as I had checked with a photo given me by the client.
Thanks from Pamela

Hi Pamela,

Could you post a closeup of the reference photos? This would be very helpful to me with my middle-aged vision.

Photo close up
 

Dear Alexandra,
Here is a close up of the photo. I hope it helps.
Pamela

Pamela,

Thanks so much for the closeup. It's a lovely grouping of the three brothers, and I like the asymmetry of their positions. You really show their relationship, which is essential in a group portrait.

I wanted to see the closeup because I noticed that in your painting you have intensified the value contrast in their faces, resulting in a slightly old-mannish look, especially in the youngest and the boy to our left. Marcus's comment about the whites of the eyes is part of this, I think. In the photo, the values in the eye area, for instance, are more all-of-a-piece. Same with the mouth area, where you have exaggerated the contrast in the lines around the mouth, the contrast between the teeth, the darkness behind them, the lips, etc. The teeth become too "separate" although they may be accurately shaped. These areas stand out the most to me. When there is too much value contrast, it can be frustrating trying to get a likeness; you may feel "something is off" even though you have measured the proportions accurately.

Alex

Thanks Alexandra,
I'll have another look at it. I see what you mean. I suppose I was trying to bring out the features too much to please the client. It was really hard working with such close values in this lighting. I didn't like the shadows under the eyes and the client went on about the blue in the eyes of the boys on the left that I emphasised this a tad so I think I went a bit far with the contrasts.
Pamela

Dear Pamela,

In addition to the excellent comments you have already received, I would add a couple of thoughts, the main one having to do with the composition - it may just be something that you'd consider in future paintings.

I think that we "buy" things, visually in photographs that we don't so easily accept in paintings - there are five chopped off limbs going into the sand pile. They act as visual arrows pulling the viewer's eye away from the kids' faces. There is also the area on our left where the boy's swimsuit, right below the red shirt edge, might be so close to the edge of the painting, so that when it is in a frame, you will get a tangent where the red shirt ends, also attracting the viewer's eye. The way to deal with the compositional questions, I think is to work out three value thumbnails before you begin so that you can see where you want to place different values to support your center of interest. Edge tangents are usually easy to fix, just put the painting into the frame to see how far the rabbet of the frame encroaches on the image, then adjust whatever you need to.

I think you made good decisions to call out more edges in the faces, but you might think about knocking down everything but the most important edges. The clothing has lots of equally sharp edges that are attention grabbers. The area where the red-shirt boy's hair and the toddler's hair touches is a little confusing as well.

Lastly, the colors in the clothing don't seem as well integrated as they could be - by sharing some color in adjacent shapes and areas, the colors will become more cohesive.

Good luck - this is a very ambitious painting!

Thanks Chris,
Yes the painting has certainly been a challenge. The client wanted me to go ahead with the design as she loved it. She wanted the sand hill in front as this represents the beach the children play on in front of her unit block. As for a frame she is not putting one on as she also loves the way I paint around the edges of my deep canvasses as I do with my contemporary paintings. But I'll reconsider the position as she may change her mind about framing at a later date. I've acted on the suggestions that Marcus and Alexandra have given me and the painting is looking a whole lot better already. I'll send in another picture when I've done but I havn't got much time as the client is coming to have a look next week.
Regards Pamela

Hi Pamela,

Welcome to the forum.

Alexandra had some good suggestions: My thoughts exactly!

Thanks Michelle,
I have observed this problem myself with the help of the fresh eyes and I hope I have now remedied the problem. I'm now working on the suggestions Chris gave me. Let me know what you think when I put up the new photo. I want it to be as good as I can possibly get it for the client and I needed your help as it was a project I found quite difficult though I do like a challenge. You lot give better critiques than those around me including the artists in the group I'm associated with as they do mostly abstracts.
Regards from Pamela

Dear Marcus, Alexandra,Chris and Michelle,
I've changed the photos for my painting as I've made some changes. What do you think now?Thanks again for all your constructive suggestions. I sure have benefited greatly.
Pamela

Dear Pamela,

It would be better to leave the old images in place, and just to post new images as you go - because it would be easier for those who have already commented to look at your changes, as well as for new viewers who might jump in.

Thanks!

Okay Chris,
Pamela

New images
 

Dear Marcus, Alexandra, Chris and Michelle,
Here are the images of the adjusted painting. What do you think of the changes? The client is coming tomorrow to see the painting.
Pamela
Ps. Dear Chris,
I had to wait a while before posting the new images as there was a problem with the internet connection.

Pamela, I think the value range has vastly improved. The faces are so much softer and boyish. You've done a good job with a challenging reference photo. I'm looking forward to seeing more of your work. Good luck with your clients today.

Alex

Yes, these are better.

Dear Alexandra,
Thank you so much. You don't know how relieved I feel. My eldest son ( who has done a visual arts course and is now a printer) also said the client should be ecstatic over the painting. I'ts sure good to have help to fall back on and I sure needed it with this one. I'll let you know what the client says.
Regards from Pamela

Dear Alexandra and Michelle,
The client came right on time and she was so thrilled with the painting that after she made the final payment she took the painting and myself to her unit to hang it. It looks great where she decided to hang and she moved another lovely painting to do so. We had drinks looking over the most magnificent view, with no mist like in the painting, looking out to the Island in front.
Thanks again for all you help,
Pamela