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Ooh - I think this will make a really nice painting - love the concept behind it! I personally wouldn't make too many changes to the photo you have - I think their facial expressions and body language say a lot.
I'm sure the pros here will have some better constructive criticism for you - I just wanted to say that I don't think you should change it too much. Trusting that you have good close-ups of each man's face, I think it could really work well.
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