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Great subject, Clayton,
I believe that the factor in question is body language. The body language of a person we knows will be recognized in a glimpse if it is there in the painting. Always listen to the mother.
When a painter takes on a commission, to do a portrait, it might be an awkward situation, at first, depending on his routine, and he may unintentionally provoke a defensive body language from the sitter. Or the sitter might feel uncomfortable for other reasons.
Many things can go wrong if the "team" does not manage to relax and loosen up and the result can be that the painter never gets the expression he would want.
This is particularly a problem if the painter only sees the client shortly for a phot.....you know, and even worse if the painter is presentet for an old snapshot and ordered: PAINT !!!!
I remember, reading about Sargent, that he would espect a likeness from the very beginning of a portrait if it were to be successful.
Your daughters portrait is very elegant, I like the composition and the vignette character.
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