Real vs. Creative Life

[Steven Sweeney]

Pat,

Resentment has a lot to do with having your head someplace other than where your body is. If I think about painting while I'm at work (in a noncreative occupation), and then think about work demands while I'm trying to move ahead on my artwork, I'm miserable all the time.

The Zen guys remind us, "When walking, walk. When eating, eat." Meaning, try to not always be thinking ahead to what you're going to have or wish you could do later, or thinking back to what you wish you'd done before. Similarly, "When working, work. When painting, paint."

(Besides, a lot of problems are being "worked on" in your unconscious, even when you're not focusing on them, so don't worry that you're not painting during the day, for in a way, you are. I used to be asked when I found the time to write, and I honestly replied, "I'm never not writing.")

That will help with the resentment. I can't tell you how to add any hours to the day, though I wish I could. I'm at my desk around 6 a.m., rarely leave before 6 p.m., have a one-hour commute and the dog to walk and snow to shovel. I'm actually using a vacation day today to try to catch up on some framing and canvas repairs (fire damage), taking a break while glue and varnish dries.

I can count on two fingers the artists of my acquaintance who don't rely on income from a day job, theirs or their spouse's, to make a go of it, and they're both better artists than I'll ever be.

One cool thing about the day job is that, here I am homebound on a snowy beginning to a three-day weekend, the dog curled up at my feet -- and my employer is paying for it! That never happened when I was trying to make ends meet in a studio.

[Michele Rushworth]

The Zen guys remind us, "When walking, walk. When eating, eat." Meaning, try to not always be thinking ahead to what you're going to have or wish you could do later, or thinking back to what you wish you'd done before. Similarly, "When working, work. When painting, paint."

Good thing to keep in mind. No matter what I'm doing, I always think I "should" be doing something else.

One cool thing about the day job is that, here I am homebound on a snowy beginning to a three-day weekend, the dog curled up at my feet -- and my employer is paying for it! That never happened when I was trying to make ends meet in a studio.

Another good thing to keep in mind (Steven, you're so full of wisdom today!) Even though I do have a spouse's income to rely on to a certain extent, I do work pretty much ALL the time, weekends included, as a self employed artist. I've taken perhaps three of what I would call "vacation days" this year where I felt free of the obligation to work on portrait commissions or marketing, in order to bring in income. For example, the rest of my family went on a 10 day vacation to the east coast last summer and I stayed home and worked. No paid vacations or holidays here!

[Patricia Joyce]

Lacey, Michele and Steven,
Thank you all for your replies. It does help me to read them and to receive the encouragement.
The Zen reminder is so good. Part of my problem is that I work 40 hours but have actually only 25 hours to do so I have way too much time to think. It feels like I am wasting precious time. I am planning on asking my bosses (they are nuns, they shoudl be supportive!) if I can go to 25 hrs a week after March, but I am afraid I may lose my health benefits unless they consider me grandfathered in. I am also thinking about moving south where the cost of living is cheaper and the weather warmer and sunnier!! But I have to find a way to pay for that move, so I am saving all my commission money (it piddles in!)

I work as an accountant and make below standard rate because I work for a nonprofit organization (convent). So I am also considering working for a temp agency perhaps at a highter hourly rate, thus enabling me to make enough to live on, part time, but the insurance becomes an issue once again.

Well, enough whining. Your support is encouraging and reading that many artists work and paint makes me feel I am in good company. Lacey you are a hard worker and young, you are very smart to be working at your art continuously. Don't stop no matter how busy you get being a mom.

Steven, you make me feel grateful for the hours and commute time I do have - yikes you have a very long day.
Boy doesn't walking the dog help though. I LOVE my walks with Erin, my sweet puppy!!!

Michele - take a vacation!!! Time in this "Cafe" is always good for me, virtual pub is almost as good as the real thing!!

Cheers . . .

[Janel Maples]

Pat,

If I understand your work situation correctly, you have approximately 15 extra hours of each work period that is not actually needed to do your job, but you need to be available, on site, for the full 40 hours per week, is this right?

Convents need money, don't they? Why don't you see if you can make a win win situation out of this?

Make a deal. If the nuns keep you in art supplies, you creat paintings during the slack time for them to sell at their Church functions. Perhaps in the bulletins at mass they can advertize portraits for members to help raise money for the Church. Or donate portraits at the school auction. This gets your name out in the community, and builds your portfolio so it is not a waste of your time. Your time is being wasted now, so doing anything artistic is better than nothing.

I guess what I am saying is see if you can find a way to get those three hours a day that are wasted (because you need to be on site) put to a better use for you AND the nuns. They would have a hard time saying no if keeping yourself busy, doing something that makes you happy, also helps raise money for the convent.

My heart goes out to you but I am confident that you will be able to think this through and come up with something that will be good for you.

I'll be thinking of you.

[David Carroll]

Hi Patricia, a writer friend calls it the conflict between commerce and creativity. I think in more spiritual terms: "No man can serve two masters". I left a succesful carreer in product sculprure to pursue a higher calling... Poverty... Well, financial poverty anyway. I have had to live in my studios for the last 6 years in order to have a studio. I have made a choice between comfort and creative freedom. I'll tell you that I would not trade my hardest times today for the life I left behind.

Although extra money is nice, it can't buy fulfillment, and for me the spiritual freedom found in poverty is far superior to life on the treadmill.

I have been seeking a higher plane of existence... "Dirtball Artist", I think finaly, I have arrived.

Blessings, Dave

[Heidi Maiers]

Interesting topic Pat, thanks for bringing it up as I find myself in the same boat as you - on one hand resenting my job because it takes so much away from my art, but on the other hand appreciating it immensly because it is such reliable income.
Right now I am burning the candle at both ends working a 40 hour week plus a 90 minute commute each way (thank goodness I have no snow to shovel). I work in the studio until 2am and then get up at 5am and have a hard time staying awake on the drive each way. I get a second wind around 9pm and am wide awake - can't sleep if I tried. Saturday's I always sleep like a log until 10am and am mad that I wasted half the day already. Such is the life of trying to have two careers instead of a career and a nice hobby.
I am torn because at this point, I probably have enough work lined up to quit my day job and sculpt full time - but that is such a scary step.
My husband works too, but we are not sure how much longer that will be because, unfortunately, he suffers from Parkinson's which also adds large medical expenses to our budget. Until recently, my art career has never even been profitable, so I'll try to do both for as long as I can and play it by ear until it is clear that I can make a dependable income from it.
Anyway, it is interesting reading how others of you have dealt with the dilema of when to take the plunge and go full time. I think it is a slow process getting there, but if persistant and willing to put in long hours, it will happen eventually.

[Jeff Fuchs]

Yes, Pat, the cost of living is less down here, but I know a New Englander who was shocked that it wasn't nearly as low as he'd heard. Still, on our modest income we've managed to pay off a mortgage on a really big Victorian, so I'll always have studio space to spare.

This thread reminds me of my friends, Charlie and Laura, whom I've mentioned here more than once. He was an IBM suit at some point in the past, but hated it. He is now a woodworker, and Laura is a full-time artist. I don't know the numbers, but money is very tight with them. They live below the poverty level, and have to watch every penny like a hawk.

They couldn't be happier! They live on the coast in an A-frame house that Charlie built. They work very hard, Charlie in his shop, and Laura in her little studio, a movable storage shed in the back yard. They live in a touristed area, and Laura sells her work in the local gallery. Some pieces are reproductions -- greeting cards that she prints on her PC, so she can sell the same pieces over and over (a luxury that portrait artists don't have).

There's a lot of unspoiled coastline where they live, and they like to spend weekends exploring it in their sailboat, while Laura takes photos of the seabirds, to include in her paintings.

Sounds idyllic, and in a lot of ways it is, but it comes with no safety net. They have no savings, and no health insurance. When it's time to retire, they'll only have Social Security. Laura may be able to paint into retirement, but woodworking may be more difficult for Charlie in his golden years, so poverty is all they'll know. They really don't care. They spent a few days in my home earlier this year, and I don't think our relative luxury impressed them in the least. They coud easily see the noose that comes with it.

[Michele Rushworth]

I don't think our relative luxury impressed them in the least. They coud easily see the noose that comes with it.

Well said.