One time Artist

[Ilaria Rosselli Del Turco]

Michael, this a very honest and moving account and I am glad for you that you are better now.
This forum is one where people often talk about themselves, their difficulties, and even their football team.

I think that almost of all of us have such a close relationship with painting as you have described, and personally I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I had to quit.

Here, as you know, there is a supportive artistic family which will be happy to see your work and to hear your opinion about every one else's struggles.
Welcome back
Ilaria

[Mischa Milosevic]

welcome back. We have missed you and your many wonderful and informative comments ands posts. I am glad that you are able to deal with this and I appreciate you sharing with us.

I have my moments when I need to get out of the studio and be around people. I make it a habit to have my 8 x 5 sketch pad with me. What I usually do is go to cafes or in the park and do thumbnail portraits of people. At other times, I would just draw what ever I see a tree, a person sitting on a bench mostly things from nature. I have found that this practice sharpens my eye and relaxes me. At times I would spend two to three hrs just drawing different people. Most of the drawings I do not get to finish but some I do my best to bring to a completion even without the sitter present.

I will post some sketches to give you an idea what I'm talking about and maybe encourage you to do the same. Sometimes I get so absorbed in the simplest of drawings and do not care if I finish it. Its all about relax, practice and having fun. I am not cropping any of them in order to give you an idea of scale in relation to the A5 pad.

Yes, I second Ilaria, we are here for you and please you stay with us. If at any time you need to talk, about anything especially about art you may mail me or call at any time day or night.

[Enzie Shahmiri]

Michael,

I am sorry to hear that you went through such a difficult time and I wanted you to know that I am happy to hear that you are feeling better and are back here posting again.

Adversity has a strange way of making us stronger and of defining our path in life.

[Thomasin Dewhurst]

Yesterday I just slammed my paintbrush through my canvas in complete rage against how utterly badly it was going and how, no matter hard I try, I cannot get anything to work except a figure facing forwards. I am currently working towards a solo show next year with the idea that I will have a series of breakthrough paintings, but at the moment it seems that that will never happen. And this despair happens about once a week.

[David Draime]

Dear Michael,

Welcome back! First of all, your contributions to this Forum, have, are now, and will continue to be, most appreciated by the rest of us - fellow travellers on this difficult, frustrating, rewarding, blissful adventure called painting.

As someone who has also suffered from depression I can relate, and I know how debilitating it can be. I think it's great that you are seeking help with it, and it is fantastic that, as you have indicated, you now can separate the depression from the act of painting. The one has nothing to do with the other, though certainly, anything that you are passionate about, that you care deeply about, will be colored by the depression.

In my own case, therapy helped somewhat to get me through the toughest times. But I count myself extremely fortunate in that when (about seven years ago) I allowed myself to draw and paint representationally again (I was an avowed Abstract Expressionist - though a confused one) everything changed. I was able then to move beyond the therapy, because, for me, I had found the ultimate therapy. Here was something I knew I could be very good at, and I poured myself into it. It felt like a "calling" - though I don't pretend to know how that works. And about the same time, I found this Forum and met wonderful fellow artists such as yourself. I haven't looked back.

Every painting I do still goes through some pretty god-awful stages, but I try to remind myself that every failure is an opportunity I should treasure. It's money in the bank. I now see it like - it's all good. It's all a learning experience, and every failure, every success is to be embraced. Even the Great Ones would occassionally paint a real dog. It's always an inextricable part of the process.

I gotta say, it takes a lot of guts to open up the way you have. Bravo!

David