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Old 10-06-2002, 10:47 AM   #1
Peter Jochems Peter Jochems is offline
Juried Member
'02 Finalist, Artists Mag
 
Joined: Apr 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 276



Hi Daniel,

I like the colourful theme of the painting and it's technically quite good what you did. There are a few comments I would like to make. My feeling is that the composition would have been more exciting when you used a cut-out instead of showing the complete group this way. The most interesting figures are the three girls on the right. I think focusing on these girls instead of showing the complete group would have been more interesting. Maybe the source-photo could have been used for two or three different interesting paintings.

I think the fountain in the back is distracting. My feeling is that when you focus more on the figures and leave the fountain out of the composition it may have become even more spectacular. The point is that there are movements in the way the girls dance, while the movement suggested by the water of the fountain adds a kind of energy in the back which weakens the overall effect of the group and also the painting that way.

The laughing girl in the back seems to disturb the concentration of the three girls on the right. Leaving her out of the scene was an option I think.

I don't know wether it's the scan but my impression is that the painting is quite dark for a sun-lit scene. The white pieces on the heads of the girls would have made beautiful bright accents in the composition if you had made them lighter.

I like the very colourful pink and red accents. It's a beautiful painting anyway and I do not suggest changing it. It's a wonderful theme to make paintings of.

Greetings,
Peter
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